The, uh, Dating, uh, Game
by Madgirl Insane
Summary: Very VERY insane cliche me RoN lUvEr 4 LiFe and wrote together. It may not seem insane to you, but you weren't there when we wrote it.


  
  
  
Madgirl: All right everybody! It's time to play... The Dating Game!  
All: *?*  
Boycca: Hi, my name is Boycca, and I'm looking for a guy who's sweet, sensitive, and enjoys long walks on the beach.  
Fred: Hey, that girl is hot, I'm none of those things, but let's pretend I am.  
Hermione: Crazy male hormones!  
Wormtail: Nyahhhhh!!!!!  
Draco: What's he high on?  
Wormtail: Air!  
Rita Skeeter: Attractive Rita Skeeter, 43, has just found out that Peter Pettigrew doesn't get high on Pixie Stix, which of course is a common belief. . . instead, he gets high on air!  
Dumbledore: I'm high on life, baby!  
Boycca: No one cares. You're not in this story. Leave.  
Dumbledore: Waaaaah!   
Boycca: Guy #1 What is your fave sport?  
Fred: I like rugby because you get to hurt people!  
Boycca: Guy # 2 the same question.  
George: I like football because of the hot cheerleaders.  
Hermione: Crazy male hormones!  
Boycca: Guy # 5 same question.  
Draco: I like Satan worshiping, it's not a sport, but it's fun!  
Hermione: Well you can't chalk that up as crazy male hormones.  
Parvati: Maybe you can.  
All: *Ponders this* Ooooooo.   
Boycca: Allriiiiiiiiiiiight! Anyhoodles, Guy #4, what do you look for in a girl?  
Harry: I like a girl who's top of every class, knows everything, and can help me save the world.  
Hermione: That's me! I love crazy male hormones!  
*Hermione and Harry leave, with enthusiasm.*  
Draco: Great, that got rid of Potter for me!  
Mad Scientist Who Has Absolutely Nothing To Do With This Story: Oh, no! Help! The orange soda experiment has gone horribly wrong! Turns out it makes your hair turn blue.  
Ron: Who did you test it on?  
Mad Scientist: Er. . . Dumbledore.  
Dumbledore: Blue hair blue hair blue blue blue hair!  
Boycca: Shut. Up! No. One. Cares. Get. Out. Of. This. Story. Now!!!   
Dobby: J'ai une maison sur ma tete.   
Mad Scientist: Really. That's very interesting, Dobby. Let's go to the lab and check that out, alrighty?   
Mad Scientist: Nyah-ha-ha! The house elf doesn't know that I shall turn him blue, too, with my *trumpets blare* Handy Dandy Color Changing Potion!  
Everyone: Ooh. Ah. A mad scientist.  
*Cho Chang comes in. She is necking Snape.*  
Cho: Hey guys wassup? Guess what I'm gonna marry Snape!  
Draco: We couldn't tell.  
*Crabbe comes in.*  
Crabbe: Awww! Cho ruined any chance I could've had with Severus!   
*Goyle comes in*  
Goyle: It's alright Vincent baby honey-bunny! I love you and I wanted to ask you a question *kneels and pulls out ring* Can you believe I found this in a "Cracker Jacks" box?  
*Crabbe runs away sobbing*  
Boycca: Uh I'm scared!  
Madgirl: How come I only had two lines so far? Wahhhhh!!!!  
Boycca: Ooooooo Shut up!  
*Madgirl runs offstage*  
Boycca: I wanna go out with uh guy #...... 1!  
Fred: Ooh fun.  
George: Wahhhhh!   
Boycca: Don't worry, don't worry, there's enough of Boycca to go around.   
*Boycca leaves w/ Fred and George, grinning*  
Moody: CONSTANT VIGILANCE! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!   
*Shocked silence as everyone realizes that instead of his magic eye, Moody has- colored contacts! Yes, that's right, ladies and gents, Moody's eye is now. . . Orange!*  
Draco: Where did he come from?  
*Moody turns Draco into a ferret*  
Draco: I like being a ferret! I never told you guys, but no one is around I secretly turn myself into one! Wheeeeee!!!!!!!!   
*Madgirl comes back as a hyena*  
Madgirl: Alright, I'm the next contestant!  
Ron: I'm the only one left who is human and doesn't have a girlfriend! That means you have to go out with ME! Yay!!!!  
Hermione: Crazy male hormones.  
Ron: Hey, I thought she was making out with Harry.   
Madgirl: It doesn't matter, Ron. I'm a hyena, you're a human. It just doesn't work. Draco's a ferret. That's close enough. And anyway, I was gonna say that what I wanted in a guy was mean, evil and HOT! As you see, Draco meets those requirements. You don't, Freckleface. Sorry, hon.  
Draco: Hey! Am I gonna get any?  
Madgirl: Nope. Sorry, Drakie. But you can look forward to some great conversation.   
Draco: Crud.  
Madgirl: Shut up. I'm hot, 'member?  
Draco. Oh yeah.  
Ginny: Sob, sob. Now who will I go to the Halloween Ball with?  
Ron: How about me?  
Ginny: You're my BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Ron: So?  
Ginny: Yeah, alright.  
*Everyone is happy. Especially Ron and Ginny.*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
